Aphantasia is the inability to visualize mental pictures. It's estimated to affect 2% to 4% of people, but may affect more as people may not be aware that they're different from the "norm".

I wasn't aware this phenomenon existed until I was a teenager. I had no idea I was 'different', and assumed people talking about visualizing things, for example like when they read, were simply exaggerations. But it does explain some things about me and I'm glad to have some sort of label for it.

I have near total aphantasia. Apparently visualizing is a spectrum, but I see absolutely nothing! And some people can imagine touch/sensory sensations?? That's actually wild to me. I have a voice in my head and can imagine noise to an extent, but it feels distant and vague. This does bother me to some degree. I definitely wish I didn't experience it (or is it a lack of experience?). Visualizing feels otherworldly to me and I bet it's cool as shit. But I don't necessarily care too much. It is how it is, and while I'd want things to be different, I'm fine LOL.

But I suppose people with aphantasia report difficulty remembering some things, and have a better memory when it comes to facts and things in that nature. I definitely feel that way.. but I have a completely terrible memory when it comes to personal experiences, like what i've done on a day to day basis or my interactions with people. So much so that there was a period where my mom was really concerned for me. I feel bad about it, and it makes me feel like an ignorant/uncaring person even though I want to remember. I feel a total disconnect from my past self. And I can recognize old friends, but I can't remember much experiences with them or why we drifted apart, but it depends on a case to case basis and how long ago we were friends. I was really concerned when I was first discovering things about this that this could put potential strain on my relationships, but I've been fine so far!

I also feel like it hinders my art skills to a degree. People talk about how the stuff they draw doesn't live up to their imagination and I feel like that pushes them to move towards that ideal image. But I suppose it's a plus too, because I don't get that sense of dissapointment! Anyways, I feel like that's part of what contributes my art to have had a very stagnant development. But of course there's other factors, like me barely experimenting or branching out to different subjects.

I just find aphantasia to be interesting. And the way you "see" dreams is different than visualizing, so some people with aphantasia claim to see in their dreams which includes me! It's weird because I can't recall the dream, I just sort of know? The brain is very interesting ☺︎