Ever since I dropped out of college, which is coming up to be around 1 year ago, I started getting treated for MDD. It's been tiring to say the least.
I've went on multiple different medications and at this point I just want to be done. While medicine, specifically Abilify (now switched to Rexulti) has helped a ton for lessoning symptoms such as feelings of sadness and suicidal thoughts, what you typically think of when you hear depression, I am still left with boredom, and very little motivation to do most tasks or hobbies. I'm very much not at my worst anymore and can take care of myself and go to work, but besides that I just sleep. It's been slightly improving though! And this website is proof, because I haven't consistently touched this in months but now I just did a redesign and have worked on it for about 3 days now. And I'm starting to sketch things, though I still haven't finished many..
I still run out of mental energy quickly though and take at least one nap a day. What I really want though, is to have the drive to want to go back to school. I just don't even know what I'd do, though. I don't think the major I initially chose is right for me anymore but I also don't think I'm smart enough to go into webdev like I've wanted to earlier this year. I am grateful for where I am right now, even though it's been a very steady climb with some bumps. Not all my depressive thoughts are gone but I can recognize and move past most of them.
Hopefully with a few more tweaks to medication I'll be able to live to my full potential ☺︎